First taunt at school :(

I just found out tonight that some kid the other day called my little boy a name at school. “Underpants”. Some kid called him underpants! And hurt his feelings so bad it “crippled my heart” he says. And why did this kid feel it necessary to tease my son? Because Matthew kinda sucks at colouring and just basically scribbles. Nice. So I hugged my baby boy and told him some kids like to make themselves feel good by making other kids feel bad, and if he wants we can start practicing his colouring so he gets better at it. I don’t know if that was the right thing to do or if it made my baby feel better and I guess I’ll probably never know. Matthew did tell his teacher and the other kid apologized but I’m sorry, the Mama Bear in me wants to go to that school yard on Tuesday and ream this kid out!

Life just isn’t fair sometimes

We had a nice thaw last week, which gave the kids and I a chance to start chiseling away at some of the ice and snow that plagues our driveway. Over the course of two days I’d say we got maybe half the driveway done, then our area got pelted with a flash freeze and freezing rain and ice pellets. D’oh!

The next day the kids and I went outside for something, and were met by a sheet of ice on the driveway with a fresh dusting of snow on top. My son was displeased. He flailed his arms up and down and shouted “WHAT??? THIS STUPID SNOW! WE JUST CLEANED THIS ALL UP YESTERDAY!!!”. Then he stomped off into the house.

I guess one of the life lessons I’ve neglected to teach him is that Mother Nature can be a real bitch.

The New Math

Can anyone resolve this one?

2 twin beds
2 kids who both want Mommy to cuddle them back to sleep
1 mother

???????????

5 years ago…

5 years ago…

- the most amazing baby boy was born
- I was a scared 29-yr-old first-time Mommy
- I went from being “Chrissy” to being “Mommy”
- everything I ever thought I knew about raising kids was about to be proven wrong!
- you made us a family
- was the last time our house was clean! 
- was my last full-night’s sleep
- was when I truly learned how to love somebody more than yourself

Matthew, each day you give me more reasons to smile, laugh, cry, worry and look forward to life.  I love you more than I can ever put into words.  You’ve proven that there must be a God because He gave me you. 

Happy 5th Birthday Baby Shmear!

Why boys need their Daddies

At the risk of sounding arrogant, I gotta say that I’m a pretty good Mom who’s good at a lot of things; I play with my kids at the park instead of just taking them there and sitting on a bench, I do crafts with them to let them explore their creativity and hone their fine motor skills, I read stories and ask them questions, cuddle them in their beds at night when they beg, and let them “help” me with things around the house even though it means I have to do things 2 and 3 times over trying to fix what they did. I am, however, at a total loss when it comes to playing with Matthew and his Transformers. Ugh! Why don’t these things come with instructions? And why must they transform into such complicated cars and robots instead of a damn box or something simple? Geez a Rubik’s cube is easier than these things! Poor little Matthew asks me to transform his toys for him,  I try for a second or two and give up when he starts giving me crap about how I’m doing it backwards or putting the leg on the damn thing’s head and we’re both thoroughly frustrated and annoyed with the other.  Sorry baby boy, but if these things ever come with hair that needs to be brushed or braided I’m your go-to gal .  Til then, you’ll have to wait til your Daddy gets home.

Opinions, advice, and things better left unsaid

So am I the only one who’s been subjected to “helpful hints” and/or “constructive criticism” with regards to my parenting skills lately?  More and more these days I’m hearing “If I were you…”,  ”I’d never let my kids do that”, “do you always let them talk to you like that?”, and my favourite “you should_____________”.  Then there are the personal attacks: “behaviour like yours destroys children”, “they’re learning all their bad behaviours when you____________________”, ”I would never speak to my kids that way”, “she obviously can’t control her own kids”, and “why on earth would you let them __________________?”.   Here are my answers and/or rebuttals to the unsolicited questions/advice I’ve received:

1.  Kids are human beings with their own brains and personalities.  Despite my best efforts mine will use their own brains to make decisions and act on them.  I’ve done my best to advise and guide them but ultimately, even though they’re little, they’re the ones who have chosen to act a certain way.  They’re not robots.
2.  They’re trying to find their way in the world, even at (nearly) 5 and 2 1/2 years of age respectively, and are testing the boundaries.  Did nobody read those chapters in the parenting books you seem to get your do’s and don’ts from?
3.  I let my kids make mistakes so they can learn about consequences.  You may have just seen the mistake but haven’t seen the consequence.  Or maybe you saw the consequence without seeing the mistake.  Either way, I don’t always have to give anyone an explanation.
4.  I’m human too and make mistakes.  I didn’t memorize a parenting manual before I had my kids like some others seem to think THEY have.  Plus those parenting books are all theory; putting them into practice is much harder than you’d think if you’ve never had to do it yourself.
5.  You’ve either made mistakes with your kids or you haven’t had a chance to make any yet with yours.  Either way, judge not lest ye be judged.
6.  My kids are allowed to think or feel whatever they want, so leave them (and me) alone if they’re upset about something you think is no big deal.  Everyone has a right to their feelings, even little kids.  They’re still learning how to deal with theirs.  Hell half the time I don’t know what to do with my own feelings and I’m 34 years old!
7.  My priorities are probably different than yours, but no less valid.  You may have think having a spotless home and home-cooked meals on the table every night makes you the perfect parent but you have no time to spend with your kids.  I however think a mess is a mess sometimes, and if eating out of cans or calling for pizza a few nights a week allows my home to be a little less stressed and gives me more time with my family to me THAT is more important.

Deep down people, I think I’m a pretty good Mom.  I have faults just like everybody else, but I love my kids dearly and any mistakes I make with them I fix the best I can.  Criticism hurts, even if one tries to laugh it off.  And if someone doesn’t ask you for your opinion or advice, I suggest keeping it to yourself because you really don’t know how much damage, no matter how well-intended, your words of wisdom are really doing.

BTW this isn’t meant for any one person in particular as a few people have been doing it.  And I don’t think it’s a reflection of my parenting skills or style.  I’ve said for years that once you become pregnant you become public property and everybody’s whipping post.  It’s not just me that’s the problem.

It’s the little things that make life worth living

Scene: I’m cuddling Maya in bed this morning with her blanket and pacifiers. She rolls over and drops one of the pacifiers on the floor.

Maya: “Oh no I drop a my suckies. I go get it”

She rolls out of the bed to get it then climbs back in.

Maya: “I back now!”. Wiggles back under the covers and sighs. “Aahhhhh! I love suckies!”

It worked for me

When I was a kid and I did something bad and got caught, I would tell my Mom “but I’m only little” and could usually weasel my way out of serious punishment by being cute. Seems that Maya has discovered it too, but using it for different reasons. This morning the two kids were arguing about what to watch on TV. Matthew wanted the Transformers animated show (BTW it SUCKS!!!). I go to turn on his icky show and Maya starts crying “NOOOOO! I too little for Transformers!”. LMAO!!! It worked cuz I believed her that she’s too little for animated violence. Now how do *I* get out of watching it?

Sweet Dreams are made of this

A few years ago when Matthew kept having nightmares he and I started up a little ritual of deciding what we were going to dream about that night so we wouldn’t have bad dreams. Last night as we were snuggling in his bed he asked me what we were going to dream about, then decided he’d choose both our dreams. “Well Mommy, I think tonight you’ll dream about buying me the Transformer Bokehead and I’ll dream about buying the tickelating (articulating?) wheel loader Legos”. Drat I was hoping to dream about our house turning into a chocolate chip cookie house and eating all our furniture.  I always get the short end of the stick.

Mr. Mom

Matthew is growing up in leaps and bounds these days and the more I let him do for himself the more independent he becomes it seems and the happier he is. And that translates to his relationship with his little sister too. He likes to help me look after her when he’s in a good mood and even takes over for me sometimes. Yesterday Maya went to the bathroom so I get up and go to wipe her bum but Matthew runs in there and says “OK Maya, I’ll wipe your butt for you” and guess what, he did it. He won’t wipe his own butt, but he’ll do hers. Hmmm. Today he woke up and went into the kitchen, and brings me back a jar of jam to open. I open it and he takes it back to the kitchen. I quietly follow to see what was going on, and there he was with the jam, slices of bread on the counter, two plates, and a knife and was making jam sandwiches for the two of them! He puts Maya’s sandwich together and hands it to her and says “here Maya, here’s your sandwich. Now take it to the table”. A few hours later Maya fell off a bar stool and was (fake) whining on the carpet. I tried to go comfort her but Matthew ran past me calling out “I’ll save you Maya! I’m coming to save you!”. He picks her up off the floor, gives her a little hug and asks “are you OK little girl?”. She says “I OK. Tank-you Madoo”. If he keeps this up he won’t need me anymore and then what will I do? I’ll have to get a hobby. Or a life!