I’m shocked that these things needed to be said

1.  Maya, what makes you think it’s OK for you to do it when I just yelled at Matthew for doing it?
2.  Maya, don’t pour baby powder in your cup and drink it.
3.  No Maya, you can NOT have a baby powder sandwich.
4.  Spitting to the tune of ABCD/Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is not the same as singing it!
5.  No coffee.
6.  A cereal bowl full of corn is not a meal.
7.  Hurry up and finish your candy (so we can go out).
8.  If I tell you my back hurts, it’s not a good idea to jump on it or punch it or smack it.
9.  The staicase is not a garbage chute.
10.  Don’t eat the Vaseline.
11.  Your suckies don’t go there (she was seeing how many she could fit in her underwear).
12.  Matthew, don’t hit or punch or kick or push or trip or yell at or spit at your sister.
13.  Maya, it’s not nice to sucker-punch your brother.
14.  Maya, it’s not funny to sucker-punch your brother.
15.  No more Wiggles.  Can’t we just watch SpongeBob instead?
16.  No more SpongeBob.  Let’s watch The Wiggles instead.
17.  Maya, please stop farting.

New routines for school

Matthew has gone to school a total of 5 days now, 4 of which has totally sucked.  He cries every single morning about how he doesn’t want to go to school, he went already, he wants to go to Toys R Us instead, he’ll go to school tomorrow, he needs to watch a movie first etc etc etc.  Last Thursday was the worst, with him crying and grabbing onto me the whole time we were getting ready, wailing at the top of his lungs once we got outside, crying at the school, and when a teacher’s aide picked him up and took him away from me he screamed his guts out with tears streaming down his face and his arms reaching for me calling “MOMMY!  MOMMY!”.  I of course lost it and started crying and even though a teacher in the yard said he’ll be OK in a few minutes, I still felt awful.  My theory is that he’s really tired in the mornings since he’s a boob like his father and doesn’t go to bed at a proper time.  So yesterday I gave him a shower during the day instead of a nighttime bath like we’ve done since he was born, got him into his jammies fairly early and plopped in my bed with him to watch his goofy TV shows til about 8:30 or 8:45 then put him to bed.  He went to sleep fairly quickly, and actually woke up ON HIS OWN this morning shortly after 7am all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with a huge smile on his face.  I gave him a simple breakfast of hard-boiled eggs so he could eat it in front of the TV while he watched his goofy shows before school (no comments from the cheap seats out there!).  I got both kids dressed, brushed their teeth, and off to school we went with a minimum amount of whining (just when he put his shoes on).  He was a little clingy once we got to the school and wanted me to come in for a bit (parents aren’t allowed on the other side of the Kindergarten fenced-in area no matter what) but when I mentioned that he might get to play that parachute game he likes he perked right up and walked over to door to line up.  I’m anxious to see what kind of day he has today.  Just in case he gets weepy later today though, I drew a picture of a sun with a happy face and wrote beneath it “You are my sunshine” and stuck it in his lunchbox. 

My little addict-in-training

I’m sure most parents can understand how difficult it is to start the day without a cup (or two, or three) of coffee (or any caffeine jolt).  I took Matthew to school this morning without me eating any breakfast or having any coffee and when Maya and I got home I was really feeling the need for a fix.  I boil the water and start making my coffee.  Maya sees me, looks up with her big blue eyes and says in her squeaky voice “coppee?”.  “Yes honey, Mommy’s making coffee”.  “Maya coppee?  Me too?”.  “OK sweetie I’ll make you a coffee too”.  So I go grab the decaf and a sippy cup, and make her a cuppa joe just like Mommy.  She takes a huge glug of it and sighs “Aaahhhh!  Good”.  LMAO!  Monkey see, monkey do.

First day of school!

Our Baby Shmear has started Junior Kindergarten! 

His first day was Tuesday, September 9, 2008.  The kids are on a full-day, every other day schedule.  Our school days are Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Friday.

The day started off OK for Matthew, but Maya had some issues.  We had to get up and start getting dressed at 7am which we DO NOT do ever.  Matthew got up OK but Maya screamed/whined/cried and had temper tantrums for about the first 45 minutes.  Then she got it out of her system and it was Matthew’s turn to start complaining.  He didn’t want breakfast.  He wanted to watch TV.  He’ll get ready later.  Blah blah blah.  Daddy crammed food down his throat against his will, we brushed our teeth and got dressed, and off to school.

Unfortunately on our way to school we pass the park, so I had to explain that we can’t play at the park cuz we’re going to school today.  And I kept on walking, listening to a little bit of whining. 

We got up to the school and the fenced area where the JK’s line up for their classes.  Matthew refused to go in.  He wanted me to go in with him but unfortunately parents are not allowed in the fenced area with the kids, which to me totally sucks.  I’m sure the school has their reasons but come on, we’re talking about 4-yr-olds here; let us at least wait with them near their lineup so they feel comfortable!  I was almost in tears as Matthew’s big blue eyes got even bigger as he looked up at Daddy and I and silently begging us to come with him.  So we just stood back and watched all the kids playing.  Finally he agreed to go into the fenced area, but stayed RIGHT AT THE FENCE by my side, still watching.  Some kids were running around and when Daddy suggested he go run with them he said he couldn’t because it was “too dangerous”.  LOL.  So we just stood there some more and watched.  All those little kids looked strange.  Matthew is nearly a head taller than all the other kids and I’m not used to kids being so little.  Matthew looks like a first-grader compared to everyone else.  Finally the bell rings and they line up.  There are two sets of doors, none of which are labelled, and the teachers at the doors where we were looked nothing like his teacher.  Oops, I lined us up at the wrong door!  We find the right door with the right teacher, the kids all line up, and they go inside.

Then all of a sudden it’s quiet and still, and all us parents are standing there staring at the doors that swallowed up our babies.  Now what do we all do?  Do we stay here in case our kids run out the doors screaming for us?  About 60 seconds later we all start walking away.  I must admit I felt a little empty and there was a lump in my throat.  What if he gets scared and I’m not there?  What if he wants me and feels abandoned cuz the teacher said he can’t have me?  What if the other kids make fun of him and he’s the geek of the class instead of the alpha male?  What if he has trouble opening up his lunch containers even though we practiced the day before and he won’t be able to eat because the teachers don’t help the kids out anymore?  Daddy, Maya and I walk back to the house and they’re oblivious to all the guilt and worry that is eating away at me at the moment.

We get home.  School starts at 8:45am and at 9:06 we get a phone call from the school.  I instantly ask them “did I screw anything up?” and they said no, but Matthew has had an accident.  He tripped and whacked his head on something, resulting in a huge goose-egg above his eye.  They iced it and asked if I wanted to come check him out.  I asked him if he was crying or screaming for me and they said no, so I told them it was OK and I didn’t need to come then, and then I laughed.  He’s been there 20 minutes and has already shown everyone he’s a klutz!  But then worry starts setting in again.  Did I get him the wrong size shoes for school?  Did he trip cuz there’s an extra 100 inches beyond his toes in his shoes?  Am I ruining this kid already?  I don’t know what made him trip, but I do know it had something to do with putting a toy camera away and as it turns out yes, I bought him the wrong size of shoes (hey, I was totally stressed out that day taking the kids shopping).

Chris left for work and there I was, with only one kid.  It was creepy.  Something was missing and even though I knew exactly what it was, it was a very odd feeling.  The house was quiet.  No fighting.  No toys crashing on the floor.  No screaming.  And no extra person to trip over.  What on earth was I going to do with myself all day?  I could clean the house but nah, I don’t feel like it.  I think I just walked around the house all day trying to think of something.

School ends at 3:15pm.  I packed up Maya and the video camera so we can catch the exciting story of his first day of school on video.  He comes out of the door and right up to me without me seeing him.  “Hi Mommy”.  Why did I not see him?  Because the little turd forgot his orange Old Navy sweater in the classroom.  Back in the class he goes and gets his sweater.  I ask him all about his first day.  How was school?  Good.  What did you do today?  Play.  Did you make any friends?  No answer.  I repeated the questions all the way home and no answer, no giddiness, no excitement.  What a waste of film.

We get home and Matthew decides we should have a picnic on the front lawn and finish the rest of his lunch.  He had half his mac and cheese left in the thermos, one cheese string, his whole apple, a cereal bar, and some of his juice left.  Yeah I guess it’s a lot of food for a little kid but I don’t know how hungry he’ll be throughout the day so better to have too much than not enough.  We have our “picnic” and go inside.  He lays on the ottoman to watch “Mighty Machines”, and fell asleep.  Dead asleep!  Maya even shook him to try to wake him up and he barely moved. 

My baby survived relatively unscathed and has moved on to the next milestone.  He’s no longer my baby anymore.  When did he grow up?  And where the heck was I when this happened?