Ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?

You’re not gonna believe this one! My daughter just took her diaper off, and straddled herself over one of the air-conditioning vents in the floor!

I knew that having a daughter meant I was gonna get stuck with certain “talks”, but I never expected it to be this soon!

An excuse for more ice-cream and popsicles

My baby boy needs surgery!

We went to the ENT the other day, and apparently Matthew’s tonsils are “huge” (exactly what the doctor said) and are taking up just over half his airway. His adnoids are big too and need to come out as well, in addition to having something in his nasal passage cauterized (I think. It’s somewhere in there anyways). We’re still waiting for the secretary to come back to work (on sick leave due to a slipped disk) so we can book the surgery.

The doctor said this will help his immune system become stronger, because he’ll be able to breathe better, eat more, and grow more. I’m like WHAT???? This kid already eats like a horse and is a smidge taller than his almost-5-yr-old friend Avery! We’ll need to take out a 2nd mortgage just to pay for the food if that happens!

On the plus side though, he hopefully won’t be sick every 2 weeks this year and if he does go through a growth spurt, then maybe his pants will start fitting better; he has no belly to hold them up (don’t know where he got that from cuz it certainly ain’t from his parents!).

What’s long and black, sticky, and can be used as a stir stick?

Answer: THE REMOTE, SWIRLING IN MOMMY’S COFFEE!

I forgot to move my cup out of Maya’s reach.

Does he need more toys or something?

My darling son was playing with himself the other day (ack! Men!) and ended up with quite the erection because of it. I asked him what he was doing, he grabbed it and shook it a bit, looked me straight in the eye and said “Mommy, my weiner’s dead”! I corrected him. “Sweetheart, judging by the size of that stiffy it’s anything but dead”. He took a second look, said “yeah”, and I guess since the “crisis” was over, he found something else to play with.

A picture is worth 1,000 words

She was a big fan of her cake.

She’s turning out to be more like her Mommy every day! LOL!

Happy Birthday Baby Shmore!

• My little Maya turned one year old on Sunday, August 5th. She was incredibly well-behaved for a little girl who refused to take her afternoon nap and had a million people buzzing around her. We opted to have the party in our backyard instead of at a playcentre like we have for Matthew’s parties. Here’s a quick comparison of the two types of parties:
  
  Playcentre Party

  $250

• Rental of building for 2 hours
• Tons of toys for kids to play with
• Set up and clean up
• 8 in. cake (although some places don’t include it)
• Pizza or hot dogs, chips, juice for kids
• Guests can purchase other snacks at the desk if they want
• Decorated high chair
• Set up and clean up
• Invitations and maps
  $22
• Extra cake for grown-ups
  $25
• Cake plates, forks, printed napkins, cups
  ___________________________________________
  TOTAL: $297 (not including the presents you buy for your child(ren)

  Backyard Party

  $67

• 2 party pizzas, including tip
  $100
• decorations including streamers, balloons, cake candle, plates, printed napkins, forks, banners, invitations
  $22
• Cake for grown-ups
  $17
• Sacrificial birthday cake for kid (great for pictures!)
  $37
• pop and juice
  ____________________________________________
  TOTAL: $243 (not including the presents you buy for your child(ren)

  Not included in the above price:
  The aggravation of decorating a deck and gazebo in what felt like 100km winds, collecting dropped streamers that blew all over the damn backyard, dodging wasps that were thoroughly pissed off from having bug killer sprayed at them and their nests, stepping on dead wasps in bare feet, not having enough chairs for people to sit on, sweating like a pig in the hot sun in a south-facing backyard with no bloody trees for shade (damn new subdivisions!), and getting a frigging sunburn from being out in the sun the whole day decorating and entertaining and forgetting to put on sunscreen.
  
  
  Hmmmm, which do you think is the better bargain?