His first bad word?????

My little chatterbox just would not stop yacking all day long. Blah blah blah doggie blah blah blah daddy blah blah blah ummmm (that means he’s hungry) blah blah blah oh damn oh damn oh damn oh damn oh damn. Uh-oh! It really sounded like that’s what he was saying but I doubt it cuz he’s never heard us say anything like that before…we say much worse!

Please, no comments on that last line. We really are working on our “communication skills” and are trying to improve our vocabulary. But damn it’s hard! Oops, there I go again! Ha ha!

I’m so immature!

The only thing I have to post about right now is that I’m addicted to the Fart Game. I guess it’s rude but I can’t help laughing every time I play! I’m trying not to play it in front of Matthew cuz I don’t want him to think it’s funny (even though every boy I’ve known, except Chris cuz he’s boring, always laughs at farts). Try this link.

http://www.panlogic.co.uk/zed/fart_game/

Update: found the cordless phone!

It was on Chris’ desk. Found when Chris came out of the shower and sat at his desk.

I still need items 1 & 2 (which total 3 items actually. Go figure!).

More Lost Items

Has anyone seen the following?

1. Red and black hairbrush. Black handle with black bristles and red knobby-things on the bristles. Last seen in Matthew’s hand 2 weeks ago as he was heading towards his toybox in his bedroom. Hasn’t been seen since. We’re getting tired of scheduling times throughout the day where we can brush our hair, since now there’s only one left.

2. Powder blue sock with white non-skid sole that says “Baby B.U.M.”. Part of a set. Last seen in hamper on previous laundry day. Can’t tell if washing machine ate it, or if it’s been hidden. Also missing white tube sock with powder blue on ankle (is this colour cursed or something?). Again part of a set. If either are found please return to the top of my dresser where I keep all the unmatched socks. I’d like to clear off the top of this dresser once and for all!

3. Cordless phone. Last seen 2 days ago on my desk and I haven’t called anyone since so I’m not the one who lost it. I could push the intercom button on the cradle and make the handset beep but it’s on Chris’ (aka Daddy’s) desk and that’s way too far to venture on a Saturday morning. If you’ve seen the phone, please advise me ASAP before I have to get up out of my chair. You can leave a message as to its location – the answering machine can be heard throughout the house so I don’t need to pick up the phone to hear your message. Or you could just call the house and I’ll follow the beep. Unless the phone’s dead, in which case I’m screwed.

The only reward being offered for the return of any of these items is a happy Chrissy/Mommy. Isn’t that reward enough?

Dear John (C, and for anyone else who wants an explanation)

Here’s why I’m upset/angry: someone posted to my husband about their past together and wussed out at the last minute and signed it “an old friend”. To a woman that post sounds like an ex-girlfriend trying to stir up trouble and when we asked this person to identify themselves they refused. Then I’m told in a different comment that there are Polish translators on the internet if I ever want to know the meaning of a word or if I ever want to learn the language. That comment, combined with the two exclamation points used to close off that sentence totally ticked me off. Where I come from, you don’t speak another language in front of someone who doesn’t understand it because it’s rude, and it should go the same for writing it. As I said before this is my baby’s webpage and I should be able to understand every word that is written on it. It was this comment that I was responding to, not any others. I hope you, and anyone else who didn’t get it, now understand where I’m coming from. If the original poster’s intentions have been misunderstood then he/she can explain themselves if they’d like, but if their intent was to cause problems, well look what’s happened. My blog has been turned into a soap opera.

We now return to the light-hearted musings about the antics of Baby Shmear…

Good-bye "old friend"

It seems that you like trying to stir up s*** and I’m not interested. At first I was curious as to your identity but judging by this game you’re trying to play, I doubt you’re someone I’d be interested in knowing. This is the last time I’m responding to your comments. Go troll somewhere else.

Guidelines for Mommy’s Blog

OK, some of you folks out there are using this forum for things other than its intended use. This blog is supposed to be a way to keep up to date on what Matthew’s up to lately, any milestones I think are adorable, or what rotten things he’s decided to do to me. However some people, and you know who you are (wink), are using this venue for selfish reasons or personal gain, so it looks like I have to set up some rules of play here. Here goes:

Please refrain from the following:
-giving me guilt trips. If I haven’t called or emailed any of you guys in a while it doesn’t mean I don’t still love you; it means I’m a crappy multi-tasker and can’t fit in a phone call along with laundry, cooking, cleaning, diaper changes, wardrobe changes, finding stuff for people in this house who can’t look for it themselves, and life in general. I am a woman AND a mom; I don’t need any more guilt! Ha ha!
-nudging me for a blog update. If I had anything even remotely interesting to say, I’d come on here and do an update. Unless any of the aforementioned situations prevent me from sitting at the computer and typing, in which case, not my fault.
-using my blog as an email address. If anyone wants to get in touch with me, the only avenues I endorse are telephone, email, pre-authorized visit (no pop-ins please cuz I might not be dressed or the house might be a mess!), or snail mail. If I haven’t responded to any of these, it’s because one or more of the aforementioned situations has arisen. As previously indicated, can’t be helped.
-posting as “anonymous”, either on my blog or Chris’ (aka Daddy). One person in particular decided to get, shall we say “cute”, and post on Chris’ blog about events of the past. So to make it fair to everyone please sign your name if you’re not a registered blogger.
-posting in a different language. I only speak English, and I’m too old/tired/busy to try to learn another one so give an old chick a break and just use the one I know.

Warning: Unflattering pictures of myself on website!

What the hell? I did not authorize the usage of those horrifyingly ugly pictures of myself in Month 14! Christopher, do I really have to request that you look out for double chins, sour facial expressions, bad hair, poor posture, lumpy cellulite-knees etc BEFORE YOU POST THE DAMN PICTURES????? And if you absolutely must use such pictures, can you do me a favour and play with Photoshop a bit before the pictures are posted? No wait a minute, I take that back; I’ve seen what you do to pictures of me with Photoshop (remember the giraffe neck you gave me?).